Kill the pretty girl

There are some days (especially evil Mondays) when I wake up late and rush out of the house and need to take a rickshaw to the bus stop. Just as I stepped outside the building gate, i saw this dame standing some 10 feet away from me. Hard luck, ogling time at pretty girl, when in hurry is extremely less. Buhh. Having a rickshaw stand just outside the house always helps, but like Mr.Murphy said, you never get autos when you need them the most. ( Mr. Murphy did not exactly say that). After looking for 4 precious minutes for the rickshaw, you finally see an empty rickshaw passing by and I call out to it.
"AUTOOOO, pucccpphhhkk pucccpphhhhk!"
(puucpphhhk = is the sound which one makes when he is calling for attention and believe me,auto drivers wont acknowledge your presence unless you call out to them like that. People staying in Mumbai would exactly know what that sound is).The gentleman decided to slow down his three wheeler for me but suddenly decided to whiz past to halt 10 feet away to lend his chivalrous services to the pretty girl. I reach office late. DIE PRETTY GIRL!

Conductors in buses are fussy about change. I paid him 10 for a 8 Rs ticket and the gentleman did not have change. In the middle of a bus, so congested with people that i could not move even my shoe lace, i had to dig all three pant pockets i had to excavate coins to give him another 3 Rs so that he could give me back a 5 rupee coin. People around you are not quite ok with the idea of excavation and they tend to give you ugly looks if your hand unintentionlly touches their shirt or bag. Gentleman conductor decides to move a step ahead to ask pretty girl where she is going. Pretty girl is one of THOSE smart asses and hands him over a note of a big denomination. This time, gentleman starts digging his small side brown bag for change. Not much in there. Excavates his pockets, dig dig DIG...and the exact change is yet to be given back. Now, he decides to pay her with her own money, pulls out his wallet and opens the small pocket in it. He turns it upside down and squeeze dries it till he manages to give the pretty girl the balance amount. Hmm. DIE PRETTY GIRL!


Pretty girl and pretty girl's brother wanted to watch a movie. They did not have change. Pretty girl's brother, the gentleman that he is, decides to not let the lady do the hardwork and goes to a shop asking for change. Nyeh ehh. They dont give him any. Poor boy comes back. Pretty girl decides to show who wears the pants in the house and asks for change at the same place. The gentlemen at the shop pooled in money so that pretty girl could get change. Hmm. DIE PRETTY GIRL!


Early morning in Hyderabada and the hotel has complimentary breakfast. Woo hoo! Pretty girl asked for an extra cup of coffee and she got two men attending to her needs, one of them driveling coffee into her cup as he was pouring wine into it and the other with sugar cubes politely asking how many cubes she wanted and also telling her about unasked for travel gyaan in Hyderabada. I asked for an extra cup of coffee and I get a grumpy look from the waiter suggesting "Just because it is free that does not mean you ask for extra stuff and hog, stupid cheapstake!"Sugar? "Er..hello..suggg ...ahh?" No waiter gave me any sugar! Forget travel gyaan! DIE PRETTY GIRL! DROWN IN YOUR CUP!


Auto drivers in Hyderabada do not respond to pphhhllbcck. And like auto drivers world wide, they cut each other's path and make sure to stop their vehicles next to each other at signals.
Driver 1 to 2 : "Tumko problem aata?"
2 to 1 : "Kaise nahi aata !!!"
1 to 2 : "aaAAA???"
2 to 1 : "AAAA!!"
They keep aaa-ing at each other till the green signal comes on and then they live happily ever after.