My Friends

Banda: Always wanted to make a movie. Deep thinker. Will bore you to death with a movie’s story (No, he actually will!). If he is kept alone with a stranger, we have often worried about the stranger’s safety and wonder if Banda is not killing him with his verbal finesse. Superman: Krypton : : Banda : Newspaper , strangers, take notice, if you want to take Banda off your back, give him a newspaper and he will drown himself to death in it.
Maybe, someday he will accept the fact that my school kicked his rival school’s butt.


Chote: And now introducing to you, a 5.10, weighing in at 81 kgs, coming straight from the Thane ST bus…CHOTE! Except for being the youngest in his family and having a silly yahoo id proclaiming himself ‘little’ in it, there is nothing small about this fellow, not brain nor brawns. Defines the antonym of punctuality. Will teach you to “adjust rrreee!” Chote walks as if the land he is walking on is his grandfather’s property. He is also accused of having a reputation of breaking Zippos on the first day they are purchased.

Goti: “I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me”. A genius who can break through security by hiding his beloved cigarettes in rollers of the roller scales, shoes, custom made boxes and other engineering equipment to hide his precious. Lights candles and agarbattis in front of Morrison photos. Has affinity towards older women. The security lady at BARC once discovered his underwear from the previous night’s slumber party.

Guru the Goo: Suffers from an acute Lacko Socialsensus. Will nudge you when you are talking on the phone and ask you an answer to a question you have no clue about; this, after you made this clear to him the previous day. He will do the same thing the next day. He has the honour of once getting an earful of fleas by thy motorman of a train whose seat he tried to sit on because he was late and couldn’t reach the men’s second class and by a man whose thing he grabbed while he was hanging out of the train and trying to reach the pole at the entrance of the train’s door. He did succeed in grabbing a pole.
Often called Guru da (not to be mistaken as Garuda).

Joshi: The only guy who accepts the fact that I’m in shape. Thank you Joshi, little do you realize we are in the same shape. Chickens out if asked to sing on a stage. The best bedroom and kitchen singer ever! He had knocked over our masala with his foot while we were cleaning the chicken. Since this was in a farmhouse 2 kms away from the closest sign of civilization and it was late, no one was in the mood to buy new spices required for the masala….so…the same masala went on the tandoori chicken and it ended up tasting good. Find a chick with foot fetish Joshi!



Khedekar: Once upon a time there was boy by the name of Khedekar.He never attended lectures. Once, for a change he did. And was sleeping in it. In the meanwhile, the very intelligent class was playing chalk chalk*. He woke up to drink water and Missy M threw a chalk at him, which the lecturer happened too see and assumed he must have done it first.
“Come here, who all are there in this?”
“Sir, I don’t know”
“Tell me fast, where it came from”
“Sir, from up”
(Pointing towards the ceiling) “UP? CHILD?”
-------What follows is golden history now--------------------------------
“NOO sirrr, like a projectile!”(Moves finger like a projectile).
SLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAP

Narsi: Narsi,the lion man has been regularly taking money from home for his weekend ‘class’ in Bandra with his beloved A. ( I’m so going to extort him with this if I don’t find a job soon and don’t have money). Mr. Quick Gun Murugun that he is likes to rush things and is usually the first to complete things, from assignments to finding a job to outings with girlfriends, he’s been there, done that. For more on his luuurrrvvee and check out his vibrant heart which is not updated in ages.

Pandey: Banda : Movie : : Pandey : IIT . Pandey is a true gentleman who will be remembered for accidentally giving his project guide a porn cd.Fortunately for him and unfortunately for us, the guide did not see its contents. “Saarrr, don’t opaan! Virus it has!” We had once decided to walk the entire stretch of Palm Beach road once, the project never took off due to the lack of ( I will come up with an excuse soon to fill this space). Hardcore extremist. Gets totally involved in a person when he likes being with him/her, so involved that he won’t be able to smell a farting contingent of gujjus around him. Says that he understands the string theory well. Our take on strings and ropes : very kinky, pandey, very kinky!

Shudder : Shudder the udder is one of the laziest souls you will ever come across. He beat me to that post! He resembles a South Park character. The udder with his innocent looks and efficient use of vocals may lead you to think he is so angelic that he has got wings attached at his back. Don’t get confused, he has stolen them from those Victoria secret fashion shows. Like jOshi, he is very much in shape tOO.

Suppa: His slenderness ratio (length/ width) exceeds two. You can spot this human French bean in a crowd very easily. Sources tell me he wears his sunglasses while playing basketball and tennis. The dude will jabber with you as if the world comes to and end today.Specializes at jabbering and reading at the same time. Also specialises at inventinve curse words. e.g : “tere maa ki mohite**”. A mouth that shoots funny curses, that of suppa’s. He had a concussion once. The first thing he said after becoming conscious was “Gan*u ne naak pe maara! mad*****” ….this ;in front of a constable since it was almost going to be a medico legal case.

Suzy: If guru da is yang, Suzy di is his yin.Thought wanderer. Spends most of his day observing human behaviour. If you could imagine his bike to be an animate object, she would have lodged a formal complaint against him for molestation and attempt to murder.Runs his mouth when caught up in fight on a lonely street and gets his arse kicked. Lousy jerk spills alcohol in his bag. Teaches lecturers how to measure distances with fingers instead of using scales or dividers. An artist by nature, suzy likes to listen to music and sing it aloud in the loo in his free time.Suzy also calls out to his imaginary girl friend Balvanti when he is under waterfalls.

Rao: Rao, our (green) blue eyed boy is the son of uncle Sam. While he is walking, his acid tongue will spill out venom, in the air if he doesn’t find anyone around him. And when he does finally manage to find any one around him, and tries spitting venom on them, he realizes he is so bad at spitting it he has just dropped some on himself. Clumsy bum. Dreams to convert all the dollars that he will make into many many rupees and be rich. Mr.naturally stylish . Can tell you the name of the presidents on Mt. Rushmore but won’t be able to tell where the Himalayas are….in fact, he will ask you what they are.




*chalk chalk : throwing chalk at each other, from one corner of the class to the other, coloured chalks have different points, if it hits the lecturer, u get an extra life in your game.
**mohite : a lecturer, who is our source of inspiration.

"we condemn this dastardly act of terrorism"
thats it? IS THAT FUCKING IT? what big balls my govt. has got to say that! haw! bravo!bravo!
This morning i switched the tv off because i was 'bored' of the news of people dying in Srinagar....and now i realise whats happening. People die like flies there and my bangle and thong wearing brave government "condemns" it.

I wouldnt want to die for no reason. I would like to come back home to my family after a long tiring day. I wouldnt want my family to see my railway pass in a sea of blood.

Not all of us are leader of men. We dont even ask for a 21 gun salute and a state funeral.But we definitely would like to see our entire bodies on the pyre, not just our hands alone. Or our fingers.