Thursday, June 01, 2006

1.5 hours of excruciation. Dingy corner.No ventilation.Dry throat.Grasping for life and at such an auspicious moment in time, my beloved,trustworthy accomplice , my 100 MS decides to throw its towel in the ring.The old lad has already has been handicapped due to aging and has lost its top row of the display and now the remaining part of the LCD decided in to join its uppermost counterpart. Come on you, target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger,you legend, you martyr AND SHINE, DAMN IT! // DHOOOB DHOOOB DHOOOB // . The best way to get an invigilator off your back is to look at him the same way he looks at you. A few more DHOOBs and i revive it :D ! And then we happily return to the remaining 2.5 hours of misery.

A farewell party of some kind. Usual trends :Exhibit A gets drunk and asks everyone if they are high too, Exhibit B is drunk and gets philosophical about the birds sitting on the electric poles while exhibit C gets drunk and repeatedly keeps telling Exhibit A that he is totally drunk.

I have downed 2 chickens.Beat that! A few days ago, i read some random kid's blog about Pink Floyd songs and how one relates to them while going from school to blah and from another brick in the wall to blah. Well after my sumptuous dinner, the only song that i can best relate to is "get your filthy hands off my dessert. "

My experiments with truth. PLs make you explore and do things that you never would have or wanted to imagine. I discovered a digital multimeter in my house. First, i decided to measure the voltage between the temporal and the finger on touching a hot vessel. 0.07v. Then, i decided to measure the potential difference across my brother's skull when he was sleeping. 0.01v. This scientifically proves that younger siblings do not have any. //Dusts hands against each other//.
Experiment 2: Without switching the compressor on, use the blower of the AC as a substitute for the ceiling fan; provides better results. The cost factor will be analyzed when the bill comes.

I Ching is an uncle now. We were deciding on the baby's name. We agreed upon something Japanese. Thanks to our ignorance, we could only come up with things like sushi, Kaizen,Kanban, but, but...we mutually agreed that PokaYoke kicks arse! The only problem with such an error proof name is that the kid might hate us when she gets older. She might us hate us more when she gets to know that we had a laugh while deciding her name. If you people have better suggestions for a genuinely GOOD name for a girl child, please enlighten us.
(Names like Orion, Ada, Nephertite, Aphrodite, Mia,Dia,etc etc. have already been rejected, stick to something zimble and malyali.)

Noises.I can bear the hammers and the road diggers.Telephones, i cant. Ever petted a cow? Have you seen how it shivers its skin when you touch it? Voluntary muscles. I shiver in the same way most of the time when the phone rings. Involuntary.Sounds like some one is choking James Blunt with his diaphragm vibrating at its amplitude. I dont like James Blunt.He sings like a girl. My speakers. They are screwed up right now. They sound rather bad while on other occasions they blast and sound like the air pocket in your ear has just cleared out.

Swimming is a nice thing to do. You often find blobby men in the pool bitching. Yes, just like women, blobby uncles gossip too. Blobby uncles make me feel good about my shape.Thank you uncles. Relative misery is all good.

Opinion of the day. I think the Enflield Mk1s are better looking and more classy than the AK-47s or for that matter any of the automatic rifles.

Alice.My Dog.Well,she is actually a bitch. But 'my bitch' sounds like a reference in 'like that' movies.Doggy.She will not do the regular dog tricks and cares half a fuck about a ball you would want her to fetch.You might have to run the distance and fetch it yourself while she supervises you. Nor does she care half a fuck about Alsations thrice her size and dares them. She eats mangoes, tomatoes, bananas and jack fruit. Now can your doggy do that?

Me. I always read the newspaper starting from the last page.Every morning i make it a point to curse Bombay Times. I carry a parker as a good luck charm.For some reason, it is never filled with ink. I wrote to the president a year and half back and he had replied with some affirmative action too.However, the way things turned out, it became clear why he is only the titular head.
Sachin Tendulkar apologised to me in 1994! I was a kid then and he was walking backwards when he bumped into me. Had come down for some charity match and wasnt a big name then.He is a lot more fairer than what he looks like on tv, atleast he was then and his hair was definitely more curlier than what it was then. I have size 10 feet, perfectly flat and broad, if you ever find weird foot marks on beaches, ask me if i was there before you think it is an alien invasion or you think have discovered a beach yeti.( After reading this post, I have been reminded of my 'proboscidian' drawings on the beach, so if you ever see them, you havent discovered any long forgotten civilisation either, just me again) The webbing/connection between my right earlobe and the face is different from what it is between the left earlobe and the face.So buhh.