Saturday, August 19, 2006

Ganesha Says

"The stars can tell." Not very long ago, some gentleman proposed there was a 10th planet and now yesterday they plan to add another few.What worries me more than the dilemma school going children are going to face more,since now their very educated mother is just not going to show them nine planets, is the influence of all these planets on astrology. If you get the Mumbai edition of the Times of India, you would know the entire bunch is some good 15 cms broad consisting of the main paper, Mumbai Mirror,Bombay Times, DNA,DNA after hours, Education Times(2-3times a week), Property times, This times that times and buhh times. I have a habit of reading the paper backwards,from page 30 to 1 and reading the forecasts is one of morning things to do. Its always good to hope.99/100 days these forecasts are contradictory, if BT and Mirror say i will be having a good day, DNA doesnt.

Anyway, so a few weeks back, all of them said i was going to have a good day! woo hoo! So I open my mailbox expecting a few mails.Not there.Then,when i get up from the chair I drop my phone, which for some weird reason was on my lap instead of the usual pocket. This happens twice in the day. Know how the frame comes to a halt and things become black and white and grey and sepia with the heroines and gaping mouths in hindi movies?That's exactly what i am like when my phone falls down. I try to sit on the sofa and when im just an inch away from being called "completely seated down" the door bell rings.Courier.Trying to sit down attempt #2,this time i am a quarter inch away, the phone rings.Wrong number.Determined to do what the world is not letting me do, i go flat on my sofa.The door bell again. Moher Fuhherrr!
As if this wasn't enough, i open the mailbox again, send out a few mails. Releaved that this work is done, i stretch back and I suddenly find myself sitting on the floor.It happened so quick that my in-transit memory of being in the chair to having a piece of plastic in my hand is as good as null.The chair i was sitting on broke.High time I start working out.
All this, when they said I would have a good day, all of them, on the same day too.tch.
I will sue these planets some day.Nuckin Futs!


Indepenedence day fuss.The younger got elected as the headboy of his school/jr. college. They have an investiture ceremony. To get things right, the younger explains to me how and where he would like to be photographed while marching.Camera friendly younger. He draws a plan of the school quadrangle. He is the cross and i am the small incospicuous circle (it was actually just a dot) , when the cross moves forward and backward the dot is supposed to move to the left and right.A saviour phone call and I think the worst is over. I come back to see the cross has become an actual person! Photographs of his 9th std. investiture ceremony, the faults in the photos are pointed out to me and asked not to be repeated.Yes sire.The angles from which he is to be shot are explained in the photos.Wait, the worst is still not over.
"I'll have a mug of warm milk before sleeping"
"WHY!???"
"To keep the throat clear, you see. I have to shout out commands tomorrow"
Help me raise money to send all the youngers on this planet to be sent to a concentration camp.

As much i cherish watching the republic day parade i love to avoid the banal belaboring banter from the red fort. No wait, the worst is still not over. After calling Bhagat Singh a terrorist, now they call Tilak,Bipinchandra Pal and Ashfaqulla Khan terrorists. Don't be surprised if after a 100 years your grandchildren read that a group of terrorists were lathi charged at the governor's bungalow in Mumbai and they went on hunger strike in Delhi.

I left out a little on my last post. Chote. He went against his family's wishes. A pigeon once laid two eggs in his balcony. He was asked to get rid of them. But the pious boy Chote is, he took good care of them. He got hay for them from some place and cushioned them in it, also to provide them warmth. He made sure the mother pigeon would get a little to eat everyday.He kept the surroundings clean( eventhough his room was a mess and you could often find his undergarments right next to his keyboard).From that day onwards, Chote got an appellation "Do ando ka baap".

And now i sit on a wooden stool as a precautionary measure.