We the people

If you watch the documantaries on India on NGC or Discovery, you would know that they often start with a line saying " It is often said that India is not just a country but a continent in some way". This,owing to the culture that changes every 50 kms. People often seem similar,they claim they are not.Take the following for examples...

VErma v/s VArma, PandeY v/sPande
Commonly known as : Bhaiyya
You replace the E with an A or forget the write the letter Y and they look at you as if you are asking them permission to sleep with their wives.
Common traits : absolute hindi speaking people, will stick to polite hindi while abusing too,
e.g: aapke maa ki ____ ( No prizes to be won for filling the blank with creatively,buhh).
Oh and there is another variety of varmas from the south as well!

Mumbaikars v/s the Punekars
Commonly known as : Ghatis
You will often find the former telling the latter how just a stretch of marine drive kicks M.G.Road arse and the latter often complains "tumchi mumbai kiti garam aahe, kiti ghaam yeto!"
Translation : how hot is your mumbai, we sweat so much!
Buhh, if its closer to the sea, if you don't expect sweat, do you expect bloody nectar to trickle down from your brows!
common traits : Merge marathi words into hindi language which eventually get absorbed under the bambaiyya which is considered cool .


Parsis v/s Iranis
Commonly known as : bawas
The Iranis will take strong exception on being called a bawa. Kasti kasam they might end up making a face if you don't understand the difference, which you won't even after years of knowing them. It seems that the zoroastrians had come down from Iran and settled down in kutch and asked permission from the king. The king in return sent a spoon filled with milk which meant "bawa ji, house full, aiya nathi settle karvanu!". In return, the wise old man in their group
dissolved sugar in that spoonfull of milk which meant that they will mingle with the people and stay with them. Obviously two sugars had gone in, one parsi and the other irani sugar! D'OH!

Idiosyncratic Iyers v/s their Nemesis Nairs
Commonly known as : Madrasis
The former is clannish and doesn't like it when you call them lungis which the latter wears. Veshti is their thing to wear! It all comes down to parabola(with a red vertical line between it) on the forehead v/s the horizontal thick line of chandan on the forehead.The dravidian soul wakes up when you club them as 'madrasis' .

I will update this list some day later. For now, I am out of here // lifts lungi/veshti from the bottom and tucks it in and around the waist// Poite Varien!