Ji. Maaval, Tal: Pune

They are, what you call 'academically uninclined'. Some of them, I doubt have even passed their 10th. They refer to each other with names like 'letya', 'jaadya', 'baarkya', 'vikram sheth' etc. They have gaudy gold chains around their necks with the top two buttons left unbuttoned showing of their...supposedly manly chests. They are those typical guys, who will talk on lengths and flirt with 'mohalle ki meena'. They become 'karyakartas' and 'sevaks' in this season. They do everything from knocking every door to collect 'vargani' , setting up the pandal, cleaning the premises twice a day to bursting the last fancy cracker minutes before the actual visarjan. Good job, they do.

Yes, too many inverted commas over there; stop whining. There will be more.
The evening of the first day is for sports and 'running race' is the most popular sport. Like stadiums, we have ends too. One of them is the mandap end and since there are deserted buildings on the other side of the road, the other end becomes 'bhoot bangla end'. A 30 metre end from the mandap to the bhoot bangla end. The kids line up at the start line. "Onyo maax...gat saaat". Kids are weird; instead of getting set, they will crouch like cats before they jump. Onyo maax, gat saat, ek, do, saade, maade... buhh. JUST SAY TEEN AND LET THE KIDS RUN! But he will continue with endless build up before he says start. Oneeee...Twooo...Th...false start. It is much like a shoot which needs several re-takes. There is match fixing here too. One of the runners gets a tip that the "go" is going to be said quickly after the two and three instead of the long build up.

New Bombay gives a 10 day break now where as Agnels and Sacred Heart give it for Christmas.

Singing, solo and group dance competetions are the main events. They all want a ring side view. Our sevaks then drive them out. Sometimes they give them taplis and push them back and some ocassions they adopt the more gandhian "Thing's won't get started unless the first line of the chairs begins where the mandap ends. Obviously, the original first rowers get displaced in all this and then there is their favourite crib, "Lekin uncle mainne 7 baje se jagah pakdi thi!" Yes, they have become 'uncles' now. Some of them call me uncle too. UBCK.

Every year, sitting in the middle rows are a couple of didis. A didi, typically is a girl who has just touched puberty, with her eyebrows done, probably for the first time with her oh I am so cool for you all expression. She is confused if she could still cheer out loud or is she too old for it. A typical didi is a veteran on stage, who has been there done that. Her comments are supposed to be wise and sometimes funny.

Didis and uncles compere many events too. They move around the 15X15 stage with a microphone in their hands whose wire they are constantly twirling and twisting in their hand. I suppose it is the compere thing to do, just like those VJs clasp their palms together. By the way, the wire is 5000 miles long, stripped at places and it runs across the stage(causing a few to trip over it) and over and around the speakers.

The kids come for elocution and singing.
"I am a little teapot //wipes nose// ..Short and stout ..here is my //deep breath in which can be heard on the mic// handle and here is my //wipes nose//spout. When i get all steamed up//another deep breath// ...when i get all steamed up...when i get all steamed up...(uh. oh. what's next??)...TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!! hihihihihi" // huge smile that it is finally over, runs off the stage still wiping the nose//

Then it's the turn of oh so cute 2 year olds to dance. They hold their fists in the air and jump up and down. With them, are their mothers trying to encourage them with their fists in the air too. Aunty, your daughter is two, you aren't. Buhh. Then at the end of it the aunty complains how the other kid was given 2mins and 2 secs while her kid was given 2 min 1 min 59 secs only when the time limit is only 2 mins. Your daughter is two, aunty, you aren't. Buhh.

Fancy dress has atleast one sardar kid leaving his hair open and being a woman, a teacher taking attendance amd that lady character from saas bhi kabhi bahu thi doing the "ara ra ra ra". I veto the sardard kid. My all time favourite.

Flash back .1990-94. I stood 2nd/3rd in the running race.Magan Mall and Atul were arch rivals for the running race in their age group and Pompy used to show off his cycling skills between races. I won the drawing competition also. Essay competition too. I had won Camel water colour cakes. I was also a part of a group that won the drama competition two consecutive years. Calling it a skit takes away the punch.."drama competition" only, please. All round champ only. Such a cool I was then. Now times have changed....kids are quite stupoid these days.

Pretty Madhura stands in the truck. She waves out to her friends below and blows a flying kiss to her baby sister. Quite a beauty queen she is. I think she ate half of the tub full of sheera too. Lucky her.

And then we danz. My all time danz favourites include:

1. Moongda

2. Jogiya Khali Vali

3. Bilanchi nagin nighali

4. Yeh desh hain veer javano ka

5. Kajra Re

It takes acute coordination. Your hands need to be swaying, while your head is too, mind you both should be out of sync. Legs can be in air too, one or two at a time. Svaadanusar. Props include a saffron flag (nothing to do with Shiv Sena), a saffron bandana and handkerchief( very important to have one). You can take the handkerchief in your hand and move it around in concentric circles, ellipses or even figures of 8 if it would make you happy. You can also make it into a flute for some nagin song while the other person makes a hood on his head by holding his hands together and moves like, what he thinks is a snake. You can also twirl the kerchief, hold it behind your neck and move it sideways while doing sit ups and looking towards the sky. You can mix and match. The kids get tired after 2 hours of danzing and that's when Letya gives some of them a tapli and goes "AYE! NAACH RE!"Pure expression. And that is how we danz.

The morning after, the roads are pink and scattered with left overs of fire crackers.

And after the dust settles, the kids start playing what the drama they saw for 10 days.

Noisy, yes. Buhh. What are we without all this?

"Have One Puri Sir, for Our Good Sake"

The Ganga has been written about in 50 millions books and staying in the city you might think she must be dirty by now: ash from pyres being thrown into her, lepers, beggers and sadhus taking a dip into her or any other presumptious thoughts living in a city can give you. No matter how much one writes about her or praises her, one has to see her by oneself to understand how great she is. People dont revere Ganga... Ganga makes people revere her. Magnificent. She will humble you. She will leave you awestruck. Yes, she is holy. She will make you go down on your knees, forget life and get disconnected. Yes, she will wash away all your sins. She will give you a high without hashish. You can just sit along the banks of her canal at Haridwar with a blank mind forever. It’s romantic, it’s bloody addictive, to sum it up it's intoxicating.

They say, “I am spirtual, but not religious”. I ask what is wrong with being religious anyway? Rishikesh is both spiritual and religious. Just at the base of the hill, with its beautiful suspension bridges making it a lovely pit stop before you proceed higher up to the Garwhal hills.

Some 250 kms from Rishikesh is a small town called Joshimath where Adi Sankaracharya is believed to meditate before he attained enlightenment. ‘Kalpavriksha’, the tree under which he meditated is one brilliant banyan tree. The stories of the temples of Joshimath are quite fascinating. 8 kms from Joshimath (connected by road and ropeway) is Auli. If you go to Auli,make sure you just start walking randomly into the woods, lose your way and follow a couple of forest officers to discover the most beautiful pastures on the top of any mountain you must have ever seen. Absolute serendipity. Suresh offered them our packed lunch. "Have one puri, Sir, for our good sake." They aren't any great words of wisdom from a saint but they were kind words from a thorough gentleman - ones, which I will always keep in mind and assosciate with this trek.

Gobindghat is 30kms from Joshimath and it is a strenous 13 km trek to Ghangaria at 10,000 feet. The furious Alaknanda accompanied us all along the trek. Ghangaria is like the base camp up there, where one can go to the Valley of Flowers and Hemkund Sahib.

I am not a flower person. Ask me what my favourite flower is and I will think you doubt my masculinity. Valley of Flowers. I found my "favourite flower", the Blue Poppy. Its petals were made of glass. It is a piece of fine artistry. It is believed that Hanuman had taken the sanjivani for Laxman from this valley. Honey bees must be loving this place. Honey bees must be coming for their honeymoon over here!

The toughest part of the trek was the one to Hemkund Sahib which is at 14,000 feet. I remembered something from my 9th standard English textbook. It was an article by Bachendri Pal in which she said "Its not just about getting up there, even mules do that." True, that.Contrary to popular belief, that it is a dirty walk where you can smell horse dung, I would say it is a walk where you can see stunning landscapes of the lush Himalayas, characteristic of the Garwhal range. These are colours that an artist will crave for and kill for. No matter how good a camera would be, it wouldn't be able to reproduce those colours. Along the path, one can find the flower Bramhakamal. Google it for its mythological relevance. It looks like a cabbage but smells better than any perfume from Arabia. Chants of ‘Satnam Wahe Guru’ and people reciting ‘Ek Onkar Satnam, Kartapurak' keep you going up the steep. With stumbling legs and a dehydrated body, you somehow reach the top. Just the sight of what is on the top, quenches your soul. Take a dip in the lake – it’s freezing. It will make your skin and mind, both go numb. It will relieve you of all the exhaustion experienced will climbing. Speak about experience of a lifetime and this will be definitely be one of them.

On our way down from Hemkund, we saw, no, we experienced the Rabbit Mouse. Funny little cute creature, the mouse does not have a tail, has big ears and feeds on grass!

Back to Gobindghat and to Badrinath, which is 25 kms from Gobindghat. With Tibetan architechture and the diamond embedded golden crown to adorn him, Bhagwan Badri Vishal sits royally in the ranges of Nar-Narayana.

Mana Gaon is the last Indian village in the region which is 3 kms away from Badrinath. On the outskirts of the village, emerges the mythical river Saraswati. No one knows where its origin is, it just comes out the rocks! Triveni Sangam at Allahbad is supposed to be the confluence of Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati, where Saraswati is believed to coming from under the ground. The Bhim Pul is a huge rock, believed to be put across the river by Bhim since Draupadi was too afraid to cross it. The road further leads to Vasundhara falls. Locals believe this was the same path taken by the Pandavs on their way to heaven. I couldn't but help notice the agility of mountain goats on the way. Fearless, i say… they run down vertical slopes. Mad creatures.Landscapes with white round stones and glaciers can be seen from Vasundhara, and when the sun rays fall on them, well, one needs to go there, putting it in words would be an insult to the beauty of the great Himalayas.




Photos at :

http://www.flickr.com/photos/zii

First it was : Are you on hi5?
Then it became: Are you on orkut?
Now it is : Are you on facebook?

SHUT. UP.

The next person who asks me that question....i promise i will hit him/her with a dudhi.