When men talk

Men often complain about women bitching and gossiping. What is little known is that some men do it too. The reason behind men not caught gossiping is because they choose specific locations to do it.

Location 1: At the barber's shop.

This is the place to hear the best gossip in town. You will get to know whose sister has got a 'lafda' with with which boy, the boy's family history and also the boy's real intention. Between all this, you will find an oh so cool dude with two buttons on the shirt left open and a faded jeans, so loose that it could drop down any second with please see my genuine jockey look walk in,pick up the water sprayer and spray some water on his hair. Then he will take a comb and do something to his hair , something about which i am not exactly sure about since his hair looks worse than what it did when he had come in. I dont know what it is about us men ; most of us tend to make our eyebrows go in a V shape while we comb. He adds more condiments to the gossipy curry in his short stint. By this time, the barber takes out his 'machine' for the head massage and then there comes an instance when the machine is moving over your shoulder and he is right in front of you, looking straight into your eye. "Ughh...// (uncomfortable, hey i am not gay!) smile// and the cutter and cut-ist look away wanting the whole thing to end and run away somewhere.


Location 2: The swimming pool

Fat uncles bragging about their children is the common trend. Reassuring oneself of how swimming is an all round exercise and better than running and gymming which they can't do.
Dont be surprised if you get access to an organisation's well kept strategic secrets while you are trying hard to achieve your 5th lap of back stroke. This is a place where really bad jokes come out as frequently as the gas out of their bodies. One will find custom made swimming styles and extremely heavy heaves and puffs. Their lap speeds suddenly increase when a girl would enter/sit by the pool. They start competing against each other. The frequency of bad jokes increases and they even laugh out loud to their own jokes and one really feels like giving himself a watery grave.

Location 3 : The loo

Ever since Michael Carleone visited the loo to get the pistol before he avenged his father's death, the loo has been a hot spot for male conversation. Some of us say a hi to each other and exchange a few good words about our lives, when one is standing and is at it and while the other is entering. They, pee, or so i think, for a really long time while they exchange information about their departments in office/college . Some of them have a habit of ducking and zipping it back on...dont ask me why, i do not know why. While washing hands, there HAS to be a hair setting session too. Not to forget the eyebrows in a V and moving the face slightly to the left, right, upwards and in all possible ways the face can move. Also, the changing rooms/dressing rooms/shower rooms.
Some of us will talk to each other, to the extent shout across the wall if the voice can't be heard because of the water coming from the shower.

A little about women. I would suggest get those cell phones which are so so dear to you surgically stitched to your ears.
I would also strongly recommend using rubber or foam covering on kitchen counters. I do not understand what is it about them and the utensil noises that keep continuously out of the kitchen. Tidding tinngn taaaaanggg.
There is an ocassional falling of a plate which keeps on moving in an oblique ellipse on the floor. Tadddrrrrrr tadddrrrr taddrrr tadrrr taddrr tarr...PICK IT UP! STOP THAT NOISE DAMN IT! BUT NO, THEY WONT!