SH on you!

Sh...sh...

Introspection: SHit men, i dont know any!

I don't know who invented Antakshari. And why is it a game you have to play when you are travelling.

"Baithe baithe kya karen, karna hain kuch kaam"...Just look out of the bloody window man and appreciate how beautiful the drive is or how beautiful the chick in the adjacent car is. Let peace prevail. But no! I heard it somewhere, and it applies to me too ;"Slit my throat, but I wont sing." One, I cannot sing. I fake singing in antakshari by moving my lips. I have an even more serious problem, I just dont know lyrics...of any song! There are times in the game where I sing very loudly...and those are times when I sing it all wrong. They stop their songs there, there is silence and they stare at me. UBCK.

Then there are technicalities too. "This is not a film song."

P on you!

(Me, very happily sings one of my favourite songs to listen to when I go for a drive) Pyaar hume kis mod pe le aayaaa.....

"THIS IS NOT HOW IT STARTS!

OH YEAH? WHY DONT YOU JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW THEN. GO DIE!

"Tick tick (brings mouth closer to my ear) ONNNEE.... tick tick(brings mouth closer to my ear) TWOOO..."

Then there was a "thande thande paani se gaana chaiye, (a hailstorm of taplis)
Gaana aaye yaa naa aaye gaana chaiye."

Go die man.

Having a bath in the village is special. The bathroom is a separate room behind the house and in the wilderness. It had an asbestos roof and the wall had holes in it. It had a long nail, in the shape of a hook to lock the door. It also had a place to sit. I was trying to dodge the rays of light that were coming through the holes in an attempt to make myself invisible. My privacy was invaded by animals occassionally moving around the room rustling through the shrubs, but that was not the worst part.

So there I was, sitting on the bathroom stone, pouring water over myself in peace and quiet when suddenly I heard some one trying to open the door and the hook would give away at the force at which it was being pulled.

"Who's there?"
Fuck. A lady.

//Grabs the nearest thing close to me to hide behind, with soap in eyes I managed to grab a........
.....mug.//

//Covering myself// "I am in here!"

"Who?"
"Me."

"WHO?"
What who man! Asking if she knew me.
"MEE!"

She was obviously not amused. I wasn't amused either. I was afraid. She walked away like the bear in the story where the man lay on the ground and didn't move creating an impression he was dead. She told her kid that she would bathe him outside only. The kid, who obviously seemed to have more sense than her, refused to do so. But she insisted on it.

"But you are smaaaalll", she said, and poured water over him.
The kid, I am assuming crouched in a bush. " Arrre...why are you going there..stand up straight, you are smalll its ok!"

Lady. Respect his privacy. And mine too. He can have a bath after 5 mins, I'll be done soon, I am not a blue whale, it won't take too long to bathe myself.

But she continued with her "Stand straight" and the kid yelled "NOUU" from the bushes. Reminded me of the Beta Swetar pehno advertisement.

"Oh kaka! you are here! Then who is inside?!?!"

She said the who is inside another two times. I thought it wouldn't be too long before she barged in to fulfill her curiousity. Still trying to recover from shock, I decided I should get out of there as soon as possible. My old friend Murphy had told me once, when things are supposed to go wrong, they will. I had forgotten to take my towel. Right, so, now I have two options; wait for the glorius sunrays to dry me risking the lady barging in, or I could use my shirt. I chose the latter.

I opened the door. Apart from the kid, who had a look on his face which suggested he was molested, there were....not one, ubck but four women, two on either side of the door resembling the walk a batsman takes through the stands. They whispered amongst themselves as I looked down and walked past trying to dig a hole and bury my head in it. Evil women, them.